Yup that's me. I totally underestimated the response I would get from writing this, and thus have been a little overwhelmed. After over 20 years of mostly unanswered questions, there has been a barrage of information. I guess I just was not asking the questions loud enough (can't get much louder than the Internet!). So what I thought would be another leisurely attempt to piece together elements of my father's life has turned into something else entirely. Totally unpredictable, out of my control, and awesome! I sort of had an unplanned, vague vision of what this blog would be, but over the weekend, I think I actually was able to figure out a way to write it truthfully without causing any relationship casualties. And I started to figure that out Friday morning.
Friday morning I met up with my half-sister for breakfast. I had of course emailed her about the blog thinking she might be interested in following it. Paul was her biological father after all. In addition, her mom was with Paul for 6 years, so there is a chunk of his life I have never really had access to. I was actually a bit surprised that she was not just interested, but pretty enthusiastic about learning more and about helping me. As we talked, for really the first time about Paul, the question that kept coming up was how do we know what is the true story? Obviously Paul can't tell his version, so we are only hearing one perspective, or "stories" that Paul told. How do we verify the truth? How do we filter out the bias? And the big question that has haunted me since my post on "almost regrets," how do I make sure that I am not hurting any bystanders in the process of the story.....walking away from that breakfast I came to a few conclusions...
1. I am OK with not necessarily knowing the whole truth
2. I am OK with other people's opinions of Paul (trust me, I do NOT have some glorified vision of him, and I am pretty sure all of me "negative" traits I inherited from him - seriously mom, I am not kissing your ass, and hubby you can blame Paul).
3. Finally this blog is NOT going to have all the details, the names, the personal information that could hurt the living - this blog is going to be about my quest to find out the storyline, to put the pieces together, to find some version of the truth, and to share some of the best & worst stories with you.
Already I am starting to feel a little bit better, a little more organized! For those who responded last week and I have yet to get back to, I promise I will email you! Please be patient, and start thinking of your Paul stories now! Anything you would like to share!
Now for something fun that came about as a direct result of this blog!
One of my coworkers has lots of family in the area, and actually had an Aunt that graduated a few years after Paul. So she called up her aunt and sure enough, she totally knew who Paul was! She even had her yearbooks handy and pulled out Paul's senior yearbook. Under his senior photo it stated:
"Rare smiler, speaks when spoken to, partial to ponytails."
It also says he was on Varsity Track, JV Football, Junior Prom Committee, Rally Committee, Letterman, and his future was Ames College.
Funny how just a few words under a yearbook photo can reveal so much...
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